Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness Part III: Sneak Peak
by AddieGreysPPPEvilRegal9119
Summary: AU; Two sneak peak scenes from the third installment of "Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness. Rated M for dark themes. Graphic/Mature Content. Just a sample to decide if I should continue this story or not.
1. Part I

**Okay, Addek lovers, I need you guys' opinion. So, I've been working on this super crazy amazeballs Addek fanfic that's probably the BIGGEST fanfic I shall EVER write in my life. Its so big that it has to be broken down into 3 parts. Part I is posted but, people don't seem to be so interested in it. So, to see if its actually worth finishing, I'm gonna give you guys a snippet of 2 scenes from Part 3. The fanfic is called "Fighting Our Way Through the Darkness" Part I is entitled: Who we are, Part II is called The Breaking Point, and Part III is simply called Fighting Our Way Through the Darkness. I have to warn you guys that this story is rated M because its pretty dark; there are mature themes such as rape and drug use. The first scene and the second scenes are intertwined with another. This first scene is a doozy, I must tell you guys; one of those M rated themes is in the first scene. I must also go on record stating that I in NO WAY support rape or drug use. Anywho, I'm rambling a tad bit too much. So, if you guys like this story, comment away and let me know if I should continue posting this story. If not, let me know too and I'll probably just find some other fanfiction site to post it on or, I'll just let the story die completely. Thanks for reading, you guys are amazeballs! Oh and I must say, Carson's part was written by her 'creator' HeroesEmmaLee, my girl. Also, there are POV's: Derek, Addison and Carson's.**

**Xx**

* * *

**Scene 1: **

**Fighting Our Way Through The Darkness Part 3, Chapter 5 .**

She blinks once, then twice. Everything is fuzzy and hazy. She doesn't know where she is at first. Soon, colors and shapes begin to take form and she realizes that she's in a hospital; the clean smell gives it away. Her eyes are open. There are people in the room, nurses, interns she can't tell, but they don't notice her. She moans softly to get their attention; it works.

"Someone page Dr. Shepherd!" one of them says.

She doesn't really remember much; the last thing she remembers is...

_-FLASHBACK- _

_She's in her car, checking herself out in the mirror. She glaces at the radio, which reads 6:17. It's dark out, or rather, the sun's just begun to go down. It's February, a few days before Valentine's Day. It's rare that it isn't snowing. It's cold, or rather cool enough for her to need a light jacket; she grabbed her peacoat before walking out the door this morning. Since being pregnant, she's still into her fashion, but it's much more comfortable. Today, it's a skirt, cream colored, and some fancy looking button down shirt; Versace, she remembers. The exact color, she can't recall. She started to leave on her scrubs, but something told her not to. Now, she wishes she had._

_She's in the car, checking herself out in the mirror. She looks towards the back of the car. She sees 3 guys, all dressed in black; they're approaching her car. She locks the doors out of precaution. One of them approaches her window and gently knocks on it with the back of his knuckles. She looks into his eyes; they're dark brown. There's something in the back of her head that tells her not to respond; she now regrets not listening to that voice..._

_"Uh, can I, help you guys?"_

_"If you scream, its going to hurt 10 times worse"_

_-END FLASHBACK-_

It's with this one flashback that she remembers everything: she was raped.

* * *

-1 WEEK PRIOR-

Derek had just finished up a long surgery. Afterwards, he went to the attendings' lounge where he found a very pregnant Addison curled up on the couch fast asleep. He had always thought she looked so cute and peaceful when she slept, but as much as he would hate having to hear her complaints of him waking her up, he knew she'd have back pain, if she slept there. He knelt down next to her, pushing her hair back, softly kissing her head.

"Addie, come on honey, let's go home" he said softly

Addison stirred a bit; she'd had a long day filled with surgeries, paper work and delivering babies, so she was fit to be tired, plus the little girl growing inside of her only added to her tiredness.

"Mmmm…Go away Derek" she grumbled

"Come on grumpy, if you stay here you're gonna have an aching back that I'm gonna end up rubbing later, so let's go home" he chuckled as she sat up, stretching and yawning, rubbing her eyes slightly.

"Help me get up? ugh I feel like I weigh a ton" she mumbled as Derek helped her up and they headed out to the car.

Once home, Addison immediately crawled under the covers as Derek showered; she wasn't able to sleep however, this little Montgomery-Shepherd liked to get into positions that made it very uncomfortable, or at this moment, very difficult for Addison to sleep.

"Avery please stop moving; mommy had a really long day and she's really tired" she said talking to the child in her belly.

"She keeping you up again?" Derek asked as he heard her moving around in bed.

"Yes, make her stop please, she likes it when you talk to her…all I want is a few hours of sleep"

Noticing the tears that were threatening to fall from his beautiful wife's face, Derek motioned for her to scoot closer to him as he propped himself up on some pillows so that Addison could rest her head on his lap as he softly rubbed her stomach, hoping to calm the baby down so that his wife could get some much needed rest. For some strange reason, the way that Derek rubbed her stomach, seemed to calm Avery down.

"Wow, you're like the baby whisperer or something" Addison said, turning to look up at Derek, who simply grinned at her, before they both drifted off to sleep…

When she woke the next morning, Addison felt refreshed.

"Mmmm, morning" she said to Derek as she softly pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Did I thank you for last night? I slept better than I have in a while" she said kissing him again.

"Really? That's good and no, you didn't thank me, but you can thank me now" he smirked as he kissed her back, his hands sliding up her shirt.

"Is this your way of asking for early morning sex?" she said laughing as he kissed her neck.

"Mmmm, maybe" he said pulling her closer to him as their lips touched again, his tongue asking for access into her mouth before she obliged, her hands roaming underneath his shirt before tugging over his head and tossing it onto the floor before moving so that she straddled him, placing kisses along his neck as he removed her shirt, stopping to stare intently at her protruding stomach, before tossing it to the floor.

"What are you staring at?" she giggled

"How amazing you look" he said as she rolled her eyes at him

"Really? You're gonna awe over my stomach instead of have sex with me?" she asked

"Well, now that you mention it…" he smirked and rolled them over, slowly slipping himself inside of her, causing a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh God…"

He moved slowly and relentlessly into her, causing her to bring her legs up to wrap them around his waist as her hands threaded through his hair as she bit down on her lip to keep from moaning too loudly and waking Carson and Ryan.

"Oh God Derek…Oh God"

He continued his mission of sending her orbiting into pleasure before work, speeding up the pace, only slightly, as her hands gripped his hair a bit more.

"Oh God…Oh God…Oh GOD!"

Somehow, pregnant belly and all, she maneuvered them so that she was on top and in control, just the way she liked it as his hands gripped her waist, her red hair flowing down her back as her head flew back from the immense pleasure she was feeling, her hands, gently resting on his chest.

"Oh God Derek! Oh my God…Ohhhh"

She bit down on her lower lip, swearing she tasted blood, but it was all she could do to keep her self from shrieking, the way she wanted to, because one of his hands had found its way to the one place he knew would make herself lose it as her movements became quicker, faster, a bit out of control as his hands did all of the talking.

"Derek…Derek...Oh my God…Derek…Oh GOD" and with that he sent her rocketing into a world of pleasure as she literally saw stars before collapsing onto his chest…

"Don't go to work, stay here" Derek said later as she lay on top of him, his hands running through her silk auburn hair.

"I wish I could, but I have a couple of high risk surgeries scheduled for today that can't wait"

"But if you could stay…"

"I'd be here in bed with you all day"

"Today sucks" Derek said

"Yeah, today sucks"

"You know you could always get someone else to…"

"No, as much as I'm tempted to call in and stay home and have sex with you all day, I have to go in...I took an oath Derek" she sighed before getting up and heading to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.

The day went smooth for Addison and Derek, who got paged to come in for an emergency in the ER. Addison was on a high this day, finishing up her surgeries around 6 that evening, just as the sun was setting on a surprisingly beautiful day in Seattle. As Addison rounded the corner, she spotted Derek.

"Hey, I just finished for the day, wanna head home?" she asked

"Can't, wish I could, but I've got a few post-op patients to check on before I go, but if you wait say, 45 minutes maybe an hour, I could finish up and then we can…"

"No, no, its okay, my back is killing me anyways…I'll meet you at home?"

"Sure"

"Good…gimmie a kiss?" Derek chuckled at how damn cute she was as he softly pressed a kiss to her lips before watching her walk away

"See you in a bit…love you"

"Love you too" She said as she turned around, flashing him her killer smile before heading to the attendings lounge to grab her things.

Once she was out of eyesight, Derek returned to his post-op notes with a smile thinking about making it home to his beautiful wife, what he didn't know was that an hour and a half later when he walked out of the doors of Seattle Grace Mercy West, what he would find would forever change his life…

* * *

In the last 2 years since making the decision to return to Seattle, life for Dr. Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery (Now Shepherd) was…better than she'd ever dreamed of. She had the love of her life back, her family was doing well (Carson had fully recovered and they were starting to patch up their relationship). For the first time in…well, ever, Addison was happy. After ending her very successful day at work, Addison dropped by the attendings' lounge to pick up her things before heading home.

"Hey, you're checking out pretty early" Callie said smiling

"Yeah I'm done for the day, can you believe that?"

"Either that or Owen and Derek are making you take it easy" Miranda said

"No, No, I'm done for the day; it was a pretty easy workload…with the exception of having Meredith Grey on my service, other than that my day was…lovely"

"Oh wow, how'd you like having Grey on your service?" Callie asked

"I didn't mind actually, I simply ignored her"

"How long's she on your service?" Arizona asked

"Just a week, maybe longer, God I hope not; you know 5th years are required to rotate on everyone's service and she's the last of the 5th years who hasn't been on my service yet, so…I'm dealing with it"

"If you need me to kick her ass for you Addie, you know I will"

"Torres!" Bailey scolded lightly

Addison laughed, "I know you will Cal, but I don't need you to, I can handle Meredith myself, pregnant woman or not" she said as she bid her friends goodbye and headed towards her car.

As she settled herself against the warm leather seat of her Lexus, checking herself out in the mirror, she noticed 3 strange men approaching her car, with one of them walking up to the window, gently knocking on it. She eyed them suspiciously, hesitantly before she rolled down the window.

"Uh, can I help you guys?" she asked nervously as they all grinned at each other, as the one closest to her leaned into the car, placing a hand over Addison's mouth as her eyes widened.

"Oh yeah you can help us" one said as her tears ran down her down her face as she tried to scream.

"If you scream, its going to hurt 10 times worse" he said as he stuck his hand inside of the car, unlocking the doors as he and his friends climbed into the car and did the unthinkable to Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd…

* * *

An hour and a half later Derek and his best friend Mark Sloan walked through the doors of Seattle Grace Mercy West headed home. It was amazing to the two men that they were still best friends after everything that had happened between them.

"I can't believe you knocked Addie up again" Mark said shaking his head

"I know I can't believe it either, but I did" Derek said

"And you're proud aren't you?" Mark smirked

"Damn right" Derek replied

"You and Addie are gonna be like 80 when the kid finishes college" Mark joked as he walked towards his car

"Whatever" Derek said as he noticed Mark stop

"What is it?" he asked

"Isn't that Addie's car?" Mark said pointing to the pearl Lexus

"It is; that's weird" he said whipping out his cell phone and dialing Addison's cell, getting her answering machine after several rings:

_"Hi, You've reached Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as possible"_ Addison's voice said cheerfully

"Hey, it's me. Your car's still parked in the parking lot; that's weird seeing as you left over an hour ago. What's it doing here? Did you get a ride with…Mark, what's wrong" Derek said noticing the look on his best friend's face; Mark looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Mark what is it?" Derek said as he walked over to where Mark stood near Addison's car with the passenger door wide open.

"Mark what…"

Derek couldn't finish his sentence as he dropped his cell phone and stared in utter disbelief: laying on the driver's seat, which was pushed all the way back, was a bloody, bruised, badly beaten, almost unrecognizable Addison. Derek's eyes immediately started to well up with tears as his hand went to his mouth, partly from what he saw, and partly to keep from throwing up at the sight of his badly beaten pregnant wife as he reached for her hand. Slowly, he choked out the only words he could muster as he looked at his wife:

"…Addison…"

* * *

Once the three men got inside the car, she felt one of them put his hand around her throat from the back seat, which caused even more tears to fall.

"Please don't do this! You can have whatever you want just don't do this!" she begged as two of the men held her down while the other, the leader she suspected slid the front seat back as far as it would go.

He proceeded to push her skirt up her thighs, his hands moving up her body as he removed her panties from her, stopping to let his fingers forcefully slide inside of her as tears trickled down her face before moving his hands to unbutton her top. He nearly had it off before she screamed

"NO DON'T! I'M 7 MONTHS PREGNANT…PLEASE!" after hearing this, the other two who were holding her down released their grip on her.

"What the hell are you two doing? Why'd you let her go?" the other man asked

"She's, she's pregnant man" one of the others said gesturing towards her now exposed, very pregnant belly.

"So? That makes this even more better…I heard its much better when they're pregnant, something about there being 3 times more blood rushing through their veins than normal or something like that, any who, makes their sex drive amazing. Besides, she probably gives it up to her husband all the time, I mean, how do you think she got pregnant in the first place? She probably doesn't even complain; she probably begs him for it, yeah, she looks like a beggar" he said leaning over Addison, taking in her scent before leaning in to kiss her neck

When she turned away from him, he slapped her, leaving a huge imprint across her face.

"You stupid little bitch! You have no idea who I am do you? DO YOU?" He asked.

"No" she sobbed, more tears streaming down her face as he laughed evilly.

"It doesn't matter who I am" said before unbuckling his pants.

"No, No please, don't!" she said as he hit her again

"Shut the FUCK up…and enjoy it" he said as he tried to spread her legs apart; but Addison was stronger than he realized.

Once he did pry her legs open as far as they would go, putting all of his weight on her, he felt her pelvis snap underneath him as he violently rammed himself repeatedly inside of her as she screamed out in pain. Not much longer he felt her wither underneath him, as he kissed and sucked at her neck, feeling her muscles tighten and clench around him as he exploded deep inside of her.

"Oh God…that was…amazing" he said out of breath "She liked, I know she did, she _came…_apparently the baby liked it too, it's kicking up a storm" he said pressing a hand onto Addison's now visible stomach.

Addison closed her eyes as the next man took his turn, thrusting himself inside of her as she came again. Once it was time for the last guy to have his turn, Addison looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Please, Please don't do this…I think, I think something's wrong with my baby" she said as she felt what she was pretty sure was blood running down her legs, followed by what she knew was a contraction, which caused her to cry out from the pain.

"What are you waiting for? Do it!" the leader said

"I, I can't"

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Some, something's wrong with the baby…I think she might be going into labor" he said, as his friend shoved him out of the way, before shoving himself into Addison again as his friends looked on in horror.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Her baby could die!"

"Come on that's enough!"

"Yeah, you said we were only gonna scare her!"

"Both of you, shut up!" he said before thrusting himself into Addison again as she screamed

"No! Please! DEREK! DEREK!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he yelled as Addison's phone started vibrating, the name _Derek_ flashing across the blinking screen.

Suddenly he pulled out a gun, placing it to Addison's head as she begged him not to kill her. As he heard Derek and another man's voices nearing the car, he hit Addison across the face with the gun repeatedly, leaving Addison nearly unconscious as they quietly snuck out of the car without Derek or Mark noticing. When she opened her eyes, the 3 men were nowhere to be found, only the intense pain from what she had endured. Barely conscious, she placed a hand atop of her stomach, feeling her daughter's faint kicks.

"My baby" she murmured as she saw the door open. The last words Addison Montgomery Shepherd uttered before drifting off into a sea of dark oblivion were "…Derek"

* * *

His first words are her name; it's soft, barely above a whisper. Didn't he just see her roughly an hour ago? Wasn't she just pecking his lips sweetly before walking away and heading home? After the initial shock wears off, Derek rushes over to the driver's side of the car.

"Addison? Honey its me, its Derek…I'm right here honey…I'm right here" he says as he holds her hand. Mark is silent for all of 5 seconds before whipping out his cell and sprinting into action.

"Its Dr. Sloan, I need a trauma team to the south parking lot immediately and the OB on call NOW!" he says slamming the phone shut as he walks over to Derek's side, placing an arm around his best friend as they stare down at the unconscious red head they both love.

"Hang in there Addie, hang in there" Mark says softly as he touched her hand.

* * *

Inside Seattle Grace Mercy West, nurse Olivia happens to be sitting at the nurses station when Mark calls, his voice sounding urgent.

"Someone page Dr. Hunt and Dr. Fields" she says

"What is it?"

"Dr. Sloan just called, he's got a pregnant woman in the south parking lot; she's hurt pretty bad"

It doesn't take long for Lucy Fields and Owen Hunt to be paged and for a trauma team consisting of Hunt, Fields, Cheif Webber, Bailey, Karev and April Kepner to rush towards the south parking Karev stops short. He knows that car. He knows it all too well. He's able to make out the license plate: AMSHEP1

Owen stops to look at him

"Karev, what's wrong?" he asks noticing Mark standing in front of a black Lexus; Alex Karev doesn't say anything.

"Karev, what's wrong?" Cheif Webber asks

"Addison; the victim is Addison" Karev says, making everyone stop momentarily.

"What the hell are you waiting for?!" Mark shouts as they all rush towards the car.

One by one, they all notice who the victim is; the Red hair and the fact that Derek Shepherd is hovering over her crying gives it all away.

The victim is Addison; though it's hard to tell, because the face on that victim, doesn't look like Addison's, not much anyways.

"Alright Sloan, what have we got?" Hunt says, trying to remain calm

"Oh my God is that?" Bailey starts

"…Addison, its Addison" Mark said grimly

"How the hell did this happen!?" Dr. Webber asks

"We don't know, we found her out here" Mark says softly, his eyes starting to sting from holding back tears

"Shepherd, you have to step aside and let us help her" Owen tells him gently

"I can't leave her. I shouldn't have left her before" Derek replies, never taking his eyes off Addison

"Derek, you have to let them help her" Mark explains as he helps him stand up as they place Addison onto the gurney.

"Alright people let's move!" Hunt shouts as Derek watches them rush past him with the very still, lifeless looking Addison on the stretcher…

Once they bring her through the ER entrance, it's complete chaos. Callie Torres, who is stitching up a patient is the first to notice the gurney fly by.

"Excuse me" she says to the patient, sending Jackson Avery to finish up on her patient before following the gurney.

"Chief, what's...oh my God, Addison!" Callie says getting a good luck at her friend on the stretcher.

"What happened?! Where's Derek? Where's Mark?" Callie says beginning to panic.

"Torres, calm down. We don't know what happened; Shepherd and Sloan found her out in the parking lot" Hunt explains

"Oh my God, what are we gonna do?! This is Addison! Nothing bad is supposed to happen to Addison; she's been through enough!" The raven haired orthopedic surgeon says as tears begin to fall.

"Callie, you have to stay calm" Bailey tells her, reaching out to grab her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"We're gonna do everything we can to save her and the baby" Bailey says, her voice wavering, just a little bit.

"Torres, we're gonna need all hands on deck; page someone from every department" the chief instructs

"What about Shepherd and Sloan?" Bailey asks

"We're gonna need Sloan, but I want Shepherd as far away from this ER as possible" the chief says

"How are we gonna do that?"Hunt asks

"...Have Grey, Meredith sit with him" the chief says

Callie is frantically rushing down the halls of Seattle Grace Mercy West looking for the head of Neuro and the head of plastic surgery. She finds them, with Mark pinning Derek against a wall.

"Derek calm down! You have to stay calm!" Mark is shouting

"How the hell am I supposed to be calm?! That's my wife in there Mark!"

"You have to think about Carson and Ryan Derek" Mark yells back at him.

"Mark!" Callie yells, getting both men's attention

"How's she doing Torres?" Mark asks

"The chief needs you" is all she says

"Callie..." Derek starts

"The chief says he doesn't want you near the ER"

"Dammit Torres!" Derek shouts punching at a wall

"He's sending Meredith to find you and sit with you. I promise we'll keep you updated" the dark haired Latina says pulling Mark by the hand and heading towards the ER.

* * *

Once they're inside trauma room 2, it's jammed packed with residents and attendings and nurses; all of them working like hell to save the redhead on the table and her baby. Her baby; in the midst of the chaos, Mark had forgotten about his psuedo niece. Avery, he'd forgotten all about baby Avery; her life was hanging in the balance too. The thought of something happening to either one of them scares him half to death.

It's as if time stands still as he listens at everyone rattle off orders.

"I need a 16 gauge needle"

"Start a central line"

"Someone get me an ET tube"

"I need a fetal heart monitor and an ultrasound machine NOW!"

He's standing there watching everyone do everything; no one's really paying him any attention. He walks closer to the gurney to get a better look at her; she looks like hell. She was hit with, something; what, he's not exactly sure. What he does know, is that she was hit forcefully and repeatedly. The impact was hard enough to completely disfigure her perfect jaw structure. She's got deep lacerations and, her flesh is nearly falling from her face. He makes his diagnosis, though it's far from medical.

"Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell did they hit her with?"Everyone turns to look at him.

"Sloan, what's going on with her face?" Hunt asks him

"She's gonna need extensive surgery; possible full reconstruction of the left side. She's got severe tissue scarring, her whole left side of her face is...who the hell did this to her?" he questions as everyone else begins to rattle off a laundry list of things wrong with Addison, but not without complete chaos ensuing.

To all of these people, the redhead on the table has played a significant part in each of their lives and now it's their job to save her.

They're all scared shitless; Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd's life and the life of her unborn baby daughter is in their hands.

"Alright everybody calm down! I know we're all a little…shaken up by this but we need to pull it together for Addison's sake, for Shepherd's sake, for Carson and Ryan's sake, and especially for the sake of the baby. We have to work as quickly as possible, now what have we got?" Owen tells them

"She's definitely in pre term labor" Lucy says examining Addison further

"What's your diagnosis?" The chief asks

"Oh yeah, this baby's gotta come out; she can't wait any longer, the baby's in distress" she say

"Her abdomen is rigid and distended, could indicate internal problems. We need to get her up to radiology for CT scans" Bailey says

"Unequal breath sounds on the right, indicate a punctured lung"Teddy says

"Yeah, her pevlis is snapped in half; she's got a couple of fractured ribs, could be broken, which could be the reason for the collapsed lung" Callie says

"She's got severe facial scarring and some tissue damage, I need to get in there and repair it, possibly a broken nose and a fractured jaw bone…could be more, but I need an X-Ray just to be sure" Mark says

"Oh my God" Lucy Fields says to no one in particular

"Fields, what is it?" Hunt asks

"She was, Addison was raped" she says as a hush falls over the room

"Fields, are you sure..."

"I know what a rape victim looks like chief" she says just as Addison's eyes open and she lets out a blood curdling scream. Just like that, everyone springs into action.

"Addison, Addison, it's Miranda" Bailey says trying to keep her calm, but she's fighting

"She's in shock! Someone get me 10 of larazapan!"

"Derek! Derek!" Addison screams; it's the last coherent thought she had before she blacked out.

"Derek's outside waiting. Sweetheart can you tell me what happened?" Bailey asks as Addison's eyes roll into the back of her head and the monitors begin to go off.

"Dammit she's crashing! Get the crash cart! Pressure's dropping…she's in V-Fib! Get the paddles! Charge to 200…clear! No response…charging to 250…Clear! Still no change…come on Addison dammit…charge to 350…Clear! Okay pressure's rising…let's move her to the OR people…"

"I want the gallery closed off…I don't want Shepherd anywhere near the OR is that understood" the chief orders as they begin to wheel the gurney towards the OR.

Suddenly, Addison opens her eyes again and begins to scream once again.

"No! Let go of me!"

"Addison! Addison! You're safe now" Bailey tries to explain; it's Mark's voice that calms her down.

"Red" Her eyes are wild. She looks around for that voice, Mark's voice.

"You're okay" he tells her softly

"Derek?"

"He's waiting for you. Can you tell us who did this to you?"

"I want Derek"

"He's in the waiting room"

"Avery?"

"She's okay Red. Now, tell me who did this to you?" Mark asks as the gurney stops momentarily, everyone's eyes on the redhead as she speaks before slipping unconscious again, but not before muttering the words:

"Hurts…3…rape…A-Avery…Der-Der-Derek"

* * *

The surgery is one of the longest surgeries Seattle Grace Mercy West has ever seen; She's the 3rd one of them that they've had to operate on; George O'Malley and Callie being the first. The mood in the OR is somber and numb, but yet fearful and the chief can sense it.

"Alright, if you're too scared to be in here, get the hell out" He says suddenly as Addison is being prepped to go under.

"I know who this is on the table; we all know who she is. Scared surgeons should not be in the OR, especially working on this patient. So either you get it together and put your nerves aside to save her, or get the hell out; because there is no room for error. If she dies, dammit it's not gonna be because some scared surgeon made a mistake" he tells his staff. The words seems to sober everyone up and the surgery begins.

"Alright Fields, you have to get the baby out first as quickly as possible, then the rest of us can get in there and do what we need to do; don't screw this up" The chief tells her

"Oh, no pressure here chief, even though I'm about to operate on my mentor" Lucy Fields says, muttering the last part under her breath.

"Alright everybody, it's a beautiful day to save lives, especially this one" the blonde attending says, trying to channel Derek Shepherd's energy into the room; it works, sort of

"Okay, ten blade"

Derek Christopher Shepherd is sitting in the attending's lounge with his head in his lap. His wife, his beautiful, perfect, pregnant wife, was attacked. He feels guilty for not insisting that she stay with him and wait until he finished up with his patients. He feels a lot of things right now. His thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by Meredith Grey walking into the room.

"Meredith" he starts

"The surgery's just started; Lucy Fields is delivering your daughter" she says, trying to look hopeful

"Tell me something?"

"Sure, anything"

"What are her chances?"

"I don't know Derek; the initial findings were pretty horrific but, everyone's trying to be hopeful and optimistic about things. Do you need any help? Calling your family, calling Addison's family?"

"Family?"

"They should be here Derek, to help out with everything"

"She's got a sister, Vivienne; lives in Boston. Addison would want her here"

"Addison's got a sister?"

"Yeah; she and Viv haven't spoken in a while; not since we lived in New York" he says

"Oh. What about Carson and Ryan?" Meredith says, causing Derek to sigh

"I forgot about them; I'm gonna go call them" he says standing up

"Derek, I could-"

"No, they need to hear it from me" he says exiting the room and whipping out his cellphone to call his daughter.

* * *

The Shepherd abode is mostly quiet for a Tuesday Night; it's pretty normal for this type of quiet. It's just after 8. Carson and Ryan are usually in their rooms by now; Carson on her phone or her laptop texting and talking, 10 year old Ryan in his room playing Call of Duty, or some other video game.

16 year old Carson is fine, happy even. She' s now several months drug free and sober. She attends therapy on a regular basis and the dreams have virtually stopped. She's back to her old self again. She's sitting in her room, actually lying across her bed, reading the latest issue of teen vogue, ear buds in her ears as she listened to the latest Rihanna song she's just purchased off iTunes.

She' s completely engrossed in Vogue magazine, which features Lady Gaga on the cover that she almost doesn't hear her phone buzzing. She smiles when the word "Daddy" flashes across the screen.

"Hey dad what's up?" The redhead says cheerfully, continuing to read her magazine, now circling some really cute trends that she intends on convincing her mother to let her buy.

Speaking of her mother, where was she? It's pretty late and neither one of her parents are home, which is highly unusual, especially for her mother, who always calls and lets them know when she's going to be late.

"Carson…you and Ryan need to get here…your mom's…there was an accident" Derek tells her.

Hearing that her mother had been in an accident immediately sends Carson into a panic.

"OhmiGod dad is she okay? Is the baby…is Avery okay? Dad tell me something!" she practically yells into the phone

"Carson just…just get here to the hospital" he says tiredly before hanging up.

She immediately jumps up from the bed, grabbing her sliver Tory Burch flats from the closet and slidding them on as she picks up the Prada bag she'd borrowed from her mother just this morning and heads for her little's brother's room.

"Ryan come on let's go" Carson says, standing in the doorway

"Go where? And Why?" he says never taking his eyes off of his came, Call of Duty 3-of course

"We have to go the hospital"

"Why?"

"Ryan come on I don't have time for the millions of questions, just come on"

"No…I don't wanna go"

"Ryan…"

"Carson…" he says warningly sounding just like their father when he threatens her

"Dammit Ry! Mom was in an accident"

And just like that, he becomes a scared 10 year old little boy.

No she wasn't" he says softly; his blue eyes staring into his sisters

"Yes she was dad called"

He slowly puts down the gaming controller and turns to stare at his sister

"Is she okay…is the baby okay?" he asks softly

"I don't know, dad didn't say, all he said was that we needed to get to the hospital" Carson tells him as they hurry down the stairs…

* * *

The first part of the surgery, delivering the baby is almost done.

"Gimmie some forceps" Fields instructs as she pulls the baby from Addison's womb

"How's the baby looking Dr. Fields?"

"She's tiny, her lungs are clearly under developed, her Apgar's low...Come on baby, breathe, breathe, come on, dammit come on" Fields says frustratedly

"How's she doing?"

"Her color's bad; suction and intubate" she says to Alex Karev who immediately gets to work as she hands him the baby

"Alright, you guys can start on your parts" she tells everyone else just as the heart monitor begins to go off

"What the hell happened Fields?" The chief shouts

"Her pressure's bottomed out, it's normal sometimes; give it a second" she tells him

"Get the crash cart!"

"No stop! I know what I'm doing chief. See? Pressure's rising. 85...90...95. She's fine; she's hanging in there" Lucy tells them as everyone breathes a sigh of collective relief

"You guys can get in there, I'm pretty much done here. How's the baby Dr. Karev?"

"Robbins is working on her but nothing seems to be helping"

"Try liquid ventilation" Fields tells him

"Liquid ventilation? Are you sure-"

"I saw Addison do it once; she said did it on a patient once before in LA and I watched her do it when Sofia was born. Trust me Karev"

"Lucy are you-"

"Alex! Sofia was much smaller than Avery and it worked; we have to try, because I am not going to tell Derek Shepherd or Addison that I couldn't save their kid, so give her the damn liquid ventilation"

Everyone is silent as they stare at Fields

"What?" she asks them

"Addison would be proud" the chief tells her, making her smile a little from behind her mask

The surgery goes on without any complications, until the end

"Her pressure's bottoming out again…dammit!"

"She's in V-Tach!" someone shouted

"Someone get the crash cart!"

"Charge to 200…clear! Charging 250…clear! Charge to 300…Clear crashing! Paddles! Charge to 300…Clear! 350…Clear! Come on Addison, don't do this! Come on dammit!" The chief yells as the heart monitor flat lines...

_-ALTERNATE UNIVERSE/DREAM SEQUENCE-_

_When she opens her eyes, she's on a park bench in Central Park in New York. What the hell is she doing in New York? She's near on the play ground She smiles when she sees a little blonde haired girl; she seems to be close in age to Ryan. The little girl runs up to her, a grin on her face._

_And just like that she notices it: there's a gap in between her two front teeth, just like she had when she was a kid. The girl has her eyes and her smile, but the rest of her is Mark Sloan. Instantly, she knows; this child is the baby she would've had with Mark Sloan._

_It's Ella. _

_"Mommy" the girl, who would be 6 this year says to her_

_"Ella..." Addison breathes out _

_Why is she seeing her aborted child with Mark Sloan she wonders looking around for Carson and Ryan, but they're gone. Everything is gone. Everything is white around her._

_Is she dead?_

_Maybe._

_"Ella, where am I?"_

_"You're in the in between" Ella says softly as she reaches for her. _

_On instinct she pulls her close and holds her. She smells sweet, like mango peach hair shampoo; the exact same kind of shampoo she used to use on Carson's hair when she was little; she smells of peach mango and some other sweet scent._

_Her eyes are haunting, sad and full of an unexplainable emptiness that she can't put her finger on. She says the only words she knows how to say;_

_"I'm sorry" It comes out like a choked back sob, but Ella seems to understand; she simply nods her head_

_"I know. I get it; it wasn't my time" she says with acceptance_

_"If I could have Ella I-"_

_"I know mommy, I know" Ella whispers, wrapping her arms tighter around her mother_

_"I just wanted to see you and hug you, just one time" Ella says tearfully_

_"I'm sorry" Addison whispers one last time before everything fades into white._

_-END ALTERNATE UNIVERSE/DREAM SQUENCE-_

"Okay, her vitals are stabilizing"

"Heart rates coming back up"

"Pressure's rising"

"Oh thank God!"

"She made it"

"She's not out of the woods yet; Sloan still has to do his procedure tomorrow. If she makes through the night, we'll count this as a victory" Richard Webber says.

All they can do, is wait it out until morning...

xxx


	2. Part II

**Setting: 5 years after chapter 5. The concept of this chapter was created by HeroesEmmaLee. Oh, and the playby for Avery? Suri Cruise**

* * *

Standing at the nurses' station, Addison Montgomery signs off on her last patient of the day, just as her 5 year old daughter Avery runs towards her. Today for Addison, is a bitter sweet day for her. Today is Avery's birthday, but its also the day that Addison was raped. She shakes off the memories of what happened to her and she smiles at her daughter. Born at barely 28 weeks, Avery Alexandra Shepherd doesn't look as though she had to fight for her life when she was born. She's tall to be 5 years old, her dark hair falling a bit past shoulders. She has bright eyes like her father, and a smile like her mother, and she's by far THE most fashionable 5 year old, ever. This is what happens when your mother and 21 year old sister have excellent taste in fashion. Since school doesn't start for a few more weeks, Avery is accompanied to the hospital by Carson, who is a senior in college this year.

"Now there are my favorite girls" Addison says with a smile as Avery jumps into her arms

"Hi mommy" Avery says, flashing her mother a perfect smile

"Happy Birthday Angel" Addison says softly, pressing a kiss to her little girl's temple; the days following Avery's birth, she wasn't sure that she'd ever be able to do this, have this moment.

"I still can't believe she's 5" Carson says with a smile; since her sister's birth, she's been more like a second mom to her, loving the big sister duties. Its not that she wasn't this protective with Ryan, who's now 16, but its different because Avery is the one thing that pretty much saved both she and her family.

"I know, I still remember when she was a tiny thing, screaming at the top of her lungs when she wasn't near Addison" Mark says with a grin as he approaches three of his favorite women.

"I wasn't that big of a baby Uncle Mark" Avery says with a scowl, making her mother laugh

"Leave the birthday girl alone Mark. Now, why don't you and I go see what kinds of gifts mommy has in her office for you" Addison says, watching adoringly as her daughter's eyes light up with excitement.

"Okay mommy! This is gonna be the best birthday ever, I can feel it!" Avery says as she and Addison head towards her office.

"Oh, Dr. Montgomery, you have a visitor in your office" Lauren, the receptionist tells her

"A Visitor?"

"Uh huh, a Mr. David Greene" Lauren says as Addison scrunches up her nose trying to recall that name

"I don't think I have any-"

"He said he wasn't a patient...he said you two knew each other" Lauren said

"I'll see who he is when I get into my office" Addison says walking towards her office.

Avery immediately jumps out of her arms at the sight of all of the balloons and gifts, but Addison is left standing in the doorway, her eyes fixed on the man standing in her office. Of course she knows who he is; its just that she didn't know his name when he raped her, 5 years ago.

"Mommy? Mommy what's wrong?" Avery asks, suddenly noticing the tension in the room

"Honey, I need you to do mommy a big favor" Addison says crouching down so that she's eye level with her daughter

"Okay, what?"

"I need you to leave my office"

"But-"

"Avery, I need you to listen to mommy; I want you to leave my office and go find daddy for me. Can you do that?"

"Okay" Avery nods before walking away, giving the man in her mother's office one last look.

* * *

"You have a lot of nerve showing up here" Addison says once her daughter is gone

"So that's her huh, Av-"

"Don't say my daughter's name as if you know her, as if you're acquainted with her" Addison snaps

"Look I didn't come here for any trouble"

"Oh, you didn't come here for any trouble; yeah, just like you didn't mean any harm when you raped me and left me for dead?"

"I came here to say I'm sorry"

"You're sorry?! You think you can just come into my office, into my hospital and just, say you're sorry for nearly killing me? For raping me? Do you know what that felt like? You, you nearly ripped me in half, shoving yourself inside of me...my pelivs was broken because you put all your weight onto me. My baby, that little girl that just left out of here, she almost died! My face...you ruined my face! You ruined my life and you think you can just come in here and say you're sorry? Do you know what that did to my family? I still have nightmares about what you did to me! You don't get to say you're sorry to me!" Addison yells at him as he walks closer to her, the look in his eyes suddenly changing, suddenly frightening her.

She doesn't know what that man wanted with her mother, but she could tell that whatever it was was something bad. It doesn't take her long to find her father, he's standing at the OR board, dressed in scrubs talking to Chief Webber. She runs towards him, tugging at his scrubs, causing him to turn around and smile at her.

"Hey there birthday girl" he says, pressing a kiss to her cheek

"Where's your mother?"

"Something's wrong with mommy" Avery says, her voice full of fear

"What do you mean something's wrong with mommy?"

"There's a man in her office"

"A man?"

"Uh huh, a strange man...somebody named David"

"David? Do you remember what his last name was?" Derek asks

"Greene I think" Avery says as Derek puts her onto the ground

"Honey, you stay here with Dr. Webber while I go see what's going on with your mom" Derek tells his daughter

"Hurry daddy, mommy seemed like she was really scared" Avery says as Derek takes off towards Addison's office.

* * *

She never thought she'd be face to face with the man who'd attacked her again. During the trial, he was the only one who wasn't apprehended. The other two, John Thomas and Rowan McGee both pleaded guilty and were sentence to prison time. Knowing that those two were going to be behind bars made Addison feel safe, but knowing that he, that David, the ring leader, was still on the loose, caused her to loose sleep many nights. So of course having him here, in her office scared her shitless.

"Why'd you come?" she asks, backing towards the door

"I told you, I came to apologize"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you do it?" she asks him

"I said why? Why did you do it?" she questions louder, growing angry at her response.

"I..."

"Spit it out!" she yells as he walks closer to her, only a few meters from her face. She tries to remain calm, but the minute that he touches her, she freaks out, losing it as she starts to scream. He curses to himself as he tries to shush her screams but she fights back as he tries to stop her from screaming. Somehow they end up near the bookshelf in her office, him on top of her as she screams, feeling helpless once again. Thankfully, Derek bursts into the office, Mark following closely behind him.

David quickly backs away from her as Derek rushes towards his wife who sobs in his arms.

"That's him, its him Derek" she tells him as he shushes her, trying to reassure that everything is okay. He only breaks away to pull Mark off of the man, before having the receptionist call the police.

"Dr. Montgomery, do you know the man who attacked you?" one of the cops asks her

"Yes...that's the man who, who attacked me" she says quietly, just as Carson rushes into her office, Avery on her hip.

"Mommy!" Avery cries, rushing into her mother's arms as she holds her close

"Mom, are you okay?" Carson asks her mother

"I'm okay, I'm alright, I promise" Addison nods, giving her daughters a reassuring nod.

* * *

Later that night as she lies in her husband's arms, she stares out into the sky which peaks through the french doors that lead to their balcony.

"Addison?" Derek asks, holding her close

"I can't believe that he came back" she says softly

"I know, I'm so sorry" Derek says

"He said he came to apologize to me"

"Apologize?"

"Yeah, but he never did give an explanation as to why he didn't"

"Maybe he didn't have a reason Addie?"

"There has to be a reason Derek"

"Whatever it is, we'll never know"

"Do you think there will be a trial?"

"I don't know; if there is one do you think-"

"If there is one, I don't want Avery anywhere near it"

"What?"

"You have to promise me that if there is a trial that Avery is nowhere near it"

"What if you have to testify?"

"I just, I want her safe from this Derek; I couldn't keep her safe before but-"

"Hey, Addison, don't blame yourself for what happened to you. That wasn't your fault okay? You did everything you could to protect her, and you've done everything to protect her now. You're protecting her, just like you protected Carson...you're an amazing woman honey, and that's why I love you" Derek says, holding his wife close.

"Yeah...I think, I think I'll be able to sleep now" she says quietly, reaching for Derek's hand

"I hope you can sleep, because all of this, watching you go through all of this, it hurts me and I blame myself for-"

"Derek, stop; none of that, none of this was your fault. Just like you tell me its not my fault, that day, it wasn't your fault"

"I just...I don't know what I'd have done if I'd lost you" he says, his eyes filling with tears

"Hey, hey, I'm okay; I'm right here, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere and neither is Avery" she says taking Derek's hand and placing it on her chest

"You feel that? That's my heart beating, as long as its beating, I'm not going anywhere" she tells him as they hold each other close before falling asleep.

Its the best sleep that either of them has had in the past 5 years.

xxx


End file.
